Truth in blogging...

My sister Jennifer's boss has come to the conclusion after reading my blog for awhile that my sister and I are nothing alike.

In some ways, this is absolutely accurate. My sister fancies herself somewhat of a princess -- by her own admission -- which would make me the court jester, or a serf, I think. For example, she has her hair done at an expensive salon and "mani-pedis" on a regular basis. I have had two manicures in my entire life and I've never had a professional pedicure. If I had better bone structure, I think I would shave my head, or at least wear a very short pixie cut, as I hate even thinking about hair maintenance. I am happy when my hands are not covered in bandaids from the minor injuries I regularly inflict on them - oven burns and minor knife wounds usually. My current "purse" was originally a vendor giveaway -- my sister's many purses are named after people like Kate Spade. Our local mall has some new stores this year, and we are both equally excited - she can't wait to step foot in Sephora, a store devoted to high end makeup, fragrances and skin care items. I am thrilled that I can now try on my L.L. Bean duck boots before buying them! I have a dog on whom I spend more money for grooming than I do on myself. She barely tolerated the pets she was forced to share a home with when we were children. I can spend an entire weekend reading a good book, and I would guess I read about 30-40 books a year. My sister recently confessed that she's reading a lot more these days too. She's finished three books this year.

But beyond these superficial differences, his conclusion is based on the fact that he knows my sister very well - the way that colleagues who spend many years working together do - and he knows me primarily through my blog, where I exercise the right to edit my thoughts so that readers see what I want them to see. Although we are different, we are also alike in many ways that he doesn't see, because I have crafted a certain image of myself here.

I do want my blog to reflect my authentic self -- who is, in addition to the artistic, nature-loving, dog-crazy woman I've portrayed, also a moody, self-centered, short-tempered, and contradictory individual at times. So I've decided that every now and then, I am going to share random details about me that I normally would not. By the way, I am not implying for one instant, that this is how my sister and I are alike-- that she can be moody, self-centered or short-tempered...just ask her boss.
I'll start with this list I've been compiling in my head for awhile -- That's right. When I'm not pursuing loftier goals like art and reading, this is the crap that fills my head...

(Some) people who annoy the crap out of me...
1. People who stand in lines while talking loudly and animatedly on cell phones. I think this is a form of noise pollution. Such people should maintain a reasonable distance from those of us who are forced to listen -- like stay at home until you're done talking. I don't want to hear your half of an annoying conversation that could have waited until you were in your car talking illegally while driving (which I also hate).
2. People who can't park their cars within the white lines, thereby wasting a space that I could have parked in. I may walk two miles a day with my dog, but I want to pull up close when I'm dashing into the liquor store!
3. People who don't have their cards and deposits ready at the drive-up ATM when they get to the window. Am I the only person who fills out the deposit slip and gets my card ready BEFORE I am parked at the window? If you're not ready when I pull up behind you, please pull around and get behind me.
4. People who don't use turn signals. When I'm tailgating, you'd better let me know that you're turning, or I might accidentally rear-end you.
5. People who have daily bowel movements at the office. Is this really necessary? How can you even relax enough to do this within such close proximity to your colleagues? And how do you manage to disappear so that it looks like I LEFT THAT odor when I leave the restroom?
6. People who are dieting and then explain in minute detail all the little bitty things they barely ate today. "I had green tea and half a rice cake for breakfast, then a lowfat string cheese for a snack, then the hard boiled egg - but only half the yolk for lunch, and 18 almonds - I must confess I like the salted ones, so I mix them with the unsalted so they're not as bad." Oh shut up. I had a turkey sandwich at 10 am, with chips and a pickle, and then in the afternoon, I tried to steal someone's microwave meal out of the freezer because, of course, I was hungry since I ate my lunch at 10 am. And I can't wait to get home and have half a pound of pasta with pesto sauce, garlic bread and a glass or three of wine.

So there it is...another side of me. I hope I don't run into any of you on the drive home...literally.

My 200th blog post!

An interview...with myself

I noticed about a week ago that I was approaching my 200th post (blogger keeps a count), and I have been trying to think of something original to post, that is consistent with my art & life blog focus. I've decided to interview myself...Fortunately, I was available. This was the result of my interview with me...
"Do I mind if I smoke?," I asked myself.

"Yes," I replied. " Actually I do mind. I don't smoke."

"Right, I was just seeing if I was paying attention. Do I mind if I drink, then?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, I don't mind. Let me pour the first round," I said.

"So, let's start at the beginning, with the obvious question: When did you know you wanted to become an artist? Was there a defining moment?"
I could see the spark in my eyes as I answered myself...

"I remember one day in the womb, toward the end of the third trimester, and I was floating around in the amniotic fluid.... Okay, I'm only kidding. I have no in-utero memories, but I was very young.

"I don't remember the exact play of events, but I can still evoke the feeling of excitement I had the first few times I saw my mother or grandmother pick up a pencil or paintbrush, and create an identifiable image on a blank piece of paper. And I knew at that moment that I wanted to be able to do that. I know I was very young - probably two or three years old, and I thought it was absolutely magical. I still look at illustration and painting that way. I love the endless possibilities that are created every time a pencil or paintbrush touches a surface."

"Describe the perfect artful day," I encouraged me.
"I'd get up around 8 am, and walk Max for an hour in cool, sunny weather. Then I'd make a pot of coffee with cinnamon, and have some breakfast, while reading a library book for a half hour, change into comfy clothes, and quickly brush teeth and hair. I'd bring a second cup of coffee into my art room, and turn on some music - right now it would be James Taylor's October Road or Hourglass. Then I'd get started making things. I might decide to paint, collage or plan a class. Often I start by priming a canvas or sorting through bins of collage materials just to get the juices flowing. I'd work for a couple of hours, and then take another outdoor break with Max, and have some lunch. Usually by afternoon, I am in "the zone" and the ideas and images flow freely. The rest of the day flies by. I'd break around 6 pm to start dinner and give Max his evening walk. I'd have some wine and dinner and (more) wine, and then work until bedtime. I might catch a little food network or hgtv before bed. That's one idea of a perfect artful day. My alternate perfect day would be taking art classes and workshops all day with friends.. Of course, I rarely have the perfect artful day, and I certainly don't wait for it. I try to strike a balance between maintaining a home, enjoying the company of friends and family, working full-time, and making art. I never have enough time to do it all as well as I'd like."

"What do you hope readers learn from this interview?" I aked myself.

"I hope they ask themselves if they are doing what gives them the most joy, even if they can't devote all of their time to it. We all need to ask ourselves what makes us excited, and spend time doing the things we are passionate about, whether it's painting, music, physical activity, social causes -- whatever makes you real."

I want to thank myself for taking time out of my busy schedule to talk with me.

Confessions of a serial journal killer

Though I've attempted to keep many written journals and diaries since I was a child, I have almost nothing to show for it. It always begins and ends the same way: I get a new journal/notebook/diary. Some have handmade paper covers, some are leather or metal. Some are simple notebooks with cardboard covers. Regardless of the form, I love the potential that the clean, crisp, empty pages promise. I believe that I will fill this book with amazing ideas and thoughts and stories. I begin by writing a page or two. I do this for a week, or a month, at best. I go back and read a page or two. Not only are they not brilliant, they are embarrassing. What is this drivel? Why am I writing these inferior thoughts down? What if I die and someone else finds this and discovers what a complete idiot I am? And then I destroy it. If it was a "good" journal, I might begin by tearing out just the incriminating pages, and using the remaining pages for sketches, doodles, to-do lists, etc. If it's a simple, spiral bound notebook, I waste no time tossing it directly into the trash. Phewf. I am saved onced again from posthumous humiliation.

Of course, my blog is a journal of sorts, but it is public, so I am cautious with what I choose to share. I edit. But there are things I'd like to write about that I am not brave enough to let anyone else see, and there are events I'd like to document for myself, just to remind me that they were real, to chart my progress as an artist, as a person. And whenever I read about people who are living fully creative lives, most mention journaling, and how much the practice helps them in their creative discoveries, so I am seduced to try again, and again.

I do keep a number of art journals, and while I frequently write in them, they are not about the written word, and the stories they tell are more visual, sporadic, experimental. They do not serve the same purpose as a written journal. In fact, because the messages in my art journals are more vague and open to interpretation, I do not feel the urge to destroy them. Their true stories are hidden.

But this week I began again. I invested five dollars in five colorful composition notebooks. Yup. Five. I've already admitted that I never complete even one, so I bought five. There is nothing logical about this urge. Also the book came in four primary colors and white, and for a dollar each, I didn't have to choose a favorite color. And they look so nice together, for when I file away all those stories, right? I really like compostion books for journaling. They're cheap, so when I throw them away, I will not feel guilty. They're durable, although why this is important to someone who will throw them away is a mystery. Perhaps so some landfill archaeologist can find them and read them and laugh at me. They have lined pages, but they're bound, unlike spiral notebooks, so you can't just tear out a page without leaving evidence that you've altered history. I can't cheat in my composition book.

I write only on the fronts of the pages. I don't like the ink to bleed through. So far, I have filled seven whole pages with words that I will probably find unbearable to read next week. I would love to hear about your journaling experiences. Are they similar? Different? If you journal regularly, what motivates you?

Blog makeover in progress...

If you are a regular visitor to my blog, you will notice that I've made some changes today. Blogger kept prompting me to update my template, because they improved things and made them more user-friendly, but they also warned that I might lose my links and other items that I've customized on my old blog.

Fortunately, I wanted to give my header a face lift anyway, so it was no biggie to replace it...and most of my links at the right remained intact. My old header is at the right. Not a drastic change, just a little more texture and color.

My next goal is to set up an etsy shop and also to figure out how to make a cute little flickr button at the right, like I see on so many blogs. I also want little thumbnails of the publications I'm in, but one thing at a time, I guess!