Gymnophobia, in a Nutshell

In a well-intentioned but extremely gymnophobic article, John Hammer frets about body scanners, and in the process provides a glimpse into textile America's disgust with the human body.

I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of strangers have no desire to see my body. In fact, I think most people would not be thrilled to see a bunch of middle-aged men without their clothes on...If the airport was filled with middle aged men in gym shorts, or Speedos, with tank tops, or no shirt at all, and flip-flops, I think the airlines would lobby Congress to do away with the full body scanners because other people would choose to take a 14-hour drive rather than have to stand in line at the airport with a bunch of sweaty old men with their bellies hanging over the waistband of their shorts, or men with unbelievably hairy backs going gray, or men who look like they have birds nests under their flabby arms...if young attractive people want to join in the battle by coming to the airport in bikinis and thongs, I would welcome them. In fact, this is sounding like not a bad idea at all. It would certainly make flying more interesting to have attractive young people at the airport nearly naked, and if that is the sacrifice this middle-aged American has to make to help our government ensure safety in air travel, I'm all for it.

I don't think Mr. Hammer intended to be mean-spirited in his essay, he probably wanted to be humorous, but in the process he manages to expose the underlying problem that nudism has in America - people are conditioned not only to hate their own bodies, but the bodies of others. Hammer is so brainwashed by the perfect bodies he sees on TV, in the movies and in magazines that he has no use for the sight of real people.

This fear and loathing of the human body is a societal disease which is so widespread and insidious that it presents the single greatest obstacle to nudists and naturists in America.

The Weekend Newds 5/23/09

• 89 year-old Jo Wallace remembers when fundraising was done in formal wear, but now she has posed nude for a calendar to raise money for a local women's shelter.
• Members of the Dunscar Golf Club in the UK raised £10,000 for breast cancer by selling a nude calendar.
• The nude body of a man has been found floating in the waters east of Wreck Beach in British Columbia, Canada.
• James Martin explores places to get naked in Europe.
• Nick Sortal of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel got naked for a yoga class. Instructor Ray Whetstone said, "If you can stand in front of a mirror naked 15 minutes a day and deal with the issues, you're going to be a very healthy person."
• Illinois has become the latest state to make "sexting" a crime.
• I'm not so sure I understand this story. A size 12 Cambridge student is in the finals of a modeling competition because "Studies have shown that 63 per cent of girls would rather be a topless model or lap dancer than a doctor, lawyer or teacher...I want to use this opportunity to show young girls that education is important, as someone that has prioritised my own education and worked really hard to get into Cambridge and get my degree." So...she's trying to put a stop to female objectification by posing in her bikini?
• Tom Lubbock critiques the great painting "Reclining Nude" by Jean-Francois Millet.
• A 12-year old boy in Dallas could face obscenity charges for having a nude photo on his cell phone.

  "It makes me uncomfortable to think about that," said Scott Mauro, a school counselor. "I mean, these are just little kids. I think it's just a cry for attention, just looking to give them attention."

• Time Out New York promotes the World Naked Bike Ride event through Central Park on June 20.
• I'm not so sure that this letter to Annie's Mailbox is legit.

  I looked around and saw a man in a hot tub. I assumed this was the guy, so I kept watching. Five minutes later, he got out of the hot tub and really was naked. I instantly got a headache and my eyes burned. I want to do something to prevent children from seeing him. I know he was in his own backyard, but you could see him clearly from the field. Would that count as public nudity? Do you think I should report him? — Scarred for Life

• You want to run around naked in public? Apparently all you have to do first is declare you are doing it for charity. 21 year-old Roy McGuinness was cheered on by family, friends and spectators has he rode "The Naked Bus" in Ireland to raise money for the MS Society.
• Model Amy Houlton, wearing only the paint of an artist's design, walked through downtown Toronto to promote the Canadian Bodypainting Championships.

  Amy poses next to the main doors, below huge images of CBC’s best-known presenters. Peter Mansbridge’s stern, 20-foot tall face seems to disapprove. Inside, an encounter with a school group elicits a mixed reaction. One girl dismisses it as “disgusting,” but some of the teenage boys can’t believe their luck: “Oh my God, was she naked?!”

• A poster of a toddler pretending to breastfeed her doll is eliciting both scorn and praise at a hospital in Manchester, England.
• 25 actors had to take off their clothes for 25 days during the filming of "The Girl Who Lived", the story of a young woman who survived the Auschwitz death camp during World War II.

  The volunteer cast and crew worked from 4pm to 4am to avoid work and study commitments and spent months taking part in trust exercises and workshops so the nude scenes could be filmed with ease.

• Former Albion mayor Michael Hadick, when asked about nude photos of him posted on a website, declared, "I am naked every day. It isn't a big deal."
• Guy Adams, commentator for The Independent, cannot understand America's strange morality laws.
• A Munich art exhibit celebrates 150 years of body images in photography.
• A Denver prosecutor says that a woman flashing her breasts in public is not free speech as protected by the First Amendment.

The Sunday Newds 4/5/09

• A New York judge has ruled that pole dancing is indeed an art form, and that cover charges collected by an all-nude strip club qualify as exempt from sales tax.
• A Canadian woman has cancelled a "nurse-in" at an aquatic center because she's "satisfied with the city's response and the positive changes that have been made" about policies related to public breastfeeding.
• I fear that this columnist's views on nudism are reflective of the general public. In response to the news of Germany's new nudist hotel, she made the following ignorant statements:
  

  Also, as someone who has spent around two hours on Vancouver's famous Wreck Beach, I can say with some authority that nudist hot spots seem disproportionately populated by wrinkly, naked old guys and much less so by the young, supple beauties they seek.
  
  This is logical given that while what attracts old guys to young women is the idea of them walking around naked, the same is definitely not the case the other way around. In fact, I would wager that women, young or otherwise, are far more attracted to guys when they are clothed. In suits. With pockets lined with money that they are willing to spend on them.
  
  With that in mind, the Germans can boost their hotel tourism industry by setting up in-house brothels.

• Rob York tries to explain why Americans are so hung up on nudity, and how it creates a culture shock when spending time in other countries like Korea.

  Among the joys of living in Korea for many years is the gradual shedding of inhibitions that comes from repeated exposure to such circumstances. Over time, even foreign males of an individualistic, fully clothed society come to see the virtues of a place where they can gather together, free of restraint or pretense. It is among the first experiences we share with the new foreign workers who come here.

• If this story about how sexting hysteria nearly ruined the life of a 30 year career teacher doesn't make your blood boil, then you're dead.

Never Nude Land

Zach Braff, who apparently is a gymnophobe, has founded a new social networking site called Never Nude Land, which is currently in private beta testing.

But what NeverNudeLand lacks in originally, it makes up for with its tight-knit community. Members can be found helping each other with common Never-Nude issues on a forum frequented by Braff and other celebrity members. Popular threads include "How to bathe in the never-nude", "Sex, Denim, and You" and a photo sharing section where members can comment on how effectively their outfits 'hide their thunder'.

I don't know if this is all just tongue-in-cheek or not, but one thing is certain - "Always Nude Land" can't be too far off on the virtual horizon.

Camp Clothing

Tanya Enberg has many hang-ups about her own body is surprised when most of her friends in "Camp Clothing" exclaim that they would be more than willing to strip down for a day at the spa.

Truth is, no amount of love or trust for my lively circle of friends could quiet down that nattering inner voice that would be obsessing over body stuff like whether they're noticing that my boobs actually do fall on the small side or that regardless of regular work outs, wobbly bits remain (for which I have buttery garlic bread and creamy pasta to thank).Instead of feeling pent-up knots of stress escaping my body, I'd be stressing out by my birthday-suit imperfections.

Tanya professes that she will not lose the towel if she goes with her friends, but something tells me that she will lose her inhibitions once she is among her nude friends, and her follow-up article will be a confession about how silly it was to stress about it.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked