Society's Struggles with Sexting

It is often said that we are a country of laws. and those who do not follow the law must pay the consequences.

Others say that we are a country under God, and that if we just follow the Ten Commandments all will be well.

But in reality we are a country of laws AND commandments, struggling between the rules set forth by man, and the edicts of a God.

It is this blurring of legalities with morality which gets us into trouble, when common sense is trumped by blind faith. Sometimes we need to just step back and THINK about what we are doing to our fellow citizens, and ask if laws are written to serve the people, or to serve the wishes of an invisible man in the sky.

Such is the situation with all the teen sexting cases which have broken out like acne all over America. Given high-tech cell phones with megapixel digital cameras built in, teens are using these devices to express their sexuality, sometimes taking nude photos of themselves and sending them to potential sexual partners, or asking others for nude photos. Oftentimes these photos are distributed to others, and therein lies the problem. Like a lie, it's not the actual act that's so bad, it's the ripples left behind in the wake that begin to affect others.

Teens have been having sex since the dawn of time, but until recently the only evidence parents and authority figures were presented with was a fecund womb, at which point it was simply too late to start moralizing. With sexting, there is now visual evidence of teen sexuality, hard-core prosecutorial proof, and adults are falling all over themselves like Keystone Cops trying to deal with what is being termed a "crisis".

Let's face it, teens are always in crisis. Suicide, drunk driving, drugs, dropping-out, gangs, you name it. In spite of all these dangers, teens somehow survive and go on to lead the world.

Did anyone ever stop to consider the fact that society's brick bats wielded to shut down teen sexuality could account for much of the rebellious and destructive behavior found in our youth? Twisting kids in knots of shame about their own bodies and natural desires is bound to lead kids to other outlets in which to vent their frustrations.

The recent suicide of an Ohio teen over sexting demands a deeper look into the phenomenon. 18 year-old Jessie Logan was found hanged to death in her room.

No explanation can comfort (mother) Cynthia or her family. She believes Jessie took her life to escape the relentless teasing and feels like the people who were supposed to protect Jessie, failed her. "The police department didn't protect her. The school didn't protect her. She had no one,” said Cynthia. Because Cynthia knows she can’t turn back the clock, she wants to change the laws. She says she wants “sexting” to stop and for the people involved to be held accountable.

According to Wikipedia, suicide is the third leading cause of death for those aged 15 to 24. Among those at the highest risk are overachievers, the disabled, the aggressive, those who have spend time in detention, and many others. 90% of teens who commit suicide claim that they are misunderstood by their families, and 75% give out warning signs which are often ignored.

The case of Jessie Logan is a tragedy for all involved, but is the answer really to enact stricter laws against sexting, and holding virtually everyone "accountable"?

And now there appears to be a new use for teen imaging devices - recording schoolyard brawls and posting them on YouTube.

In one recent video, two girls are egged on by friends and soon begin punching and choking one another. In other videos, a boy appears to be knocked unconscious by a well-placed haymaker, and a second boy spits out blood after suffering a blow to the mouth. "One of the reasons for doing this is to attract attention," said Nancy Willard, executive director of the Oregon-based Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use. "The more vicious the fight, the greater the attention."

Sounds horrible, doesn't it? Surely this violence will provoke a much more alarm than a nude photo of a teen.

At Vallejo City Unified School District in Northern California, parents last year alerted school officials to dozens of campus fights that had been posted on the Internet. "For the kids, it's entertainment and fun," said Jason Hodge, a spokesman for the school system 30 miles northeast of San Francisco.

Despite this flip remark, the school banned the recording of fights, but no word on whether or not the actual fighting was prohibited.

It seems to me that the real issue here is bullying, not sexting. The tragedy of Jessie Logan appears to be from the "relentless teasing" over her nude photo, not the photo itself. Kids can be very, very cruel - anything is fair game for taunting, from clothing to skin color, or anything else that sets someone apart from the crowd.

So what is the answer? Certainly it's not to make felons out of children who take nude photos of themselves, as many overzealous prosecutors are trying to do. It's also wrong to ignore what is happening and do nothing.

Aside from the Jessie Logan story, most teens engaging in sexting are not ashamed, and don't even realize what they are doing violates current laws.

It will be a measure of our society in how we come to terms with teen sexting. We can either to the reactive route and enact more laws to put more children in jail, or we can become proactive to teach our children about sexuality and give them the necessary tools to avoid unwanted pregnancies. If we are to continue to deal with this through the legal system, actions should be limited to those who use the images for bullying purposes, and not against the subjects themselves.

Abstinence education does not work. Even Bristol Palin says that abstinence-only policies are unrealistic. It is also unrealistic to believe that society can put the toothpaste back into the tube and stop teen sexting by further complicating and burdening the legal system. All we accomplish by prosecuting children over sex is reinforce the belief that the body itself is something to be ashamed of, further objectifying and sexualizing all nudity, and ruining lives.

We need to stop the moral outrage, set aside the false shame and indignation, and get realistic about what kids are doing. They are not disseminating child pornography, they are not morally bankrupt and dangerous to society, they are merely exploring their own sexuality using the tools given to them by adults.

Education and understanding must prevail over laws and prosecutions, otherwise we risk making criminals out of an entire generation of children.

What I Blog About

Occasionally someone asks me, "If you are a nudist, and believe that nudism is a family-friendly lifestyle, why do you sometimes write about strippers, swinging, and prostitution?"

I think most readers are smart enough to understand why, but here is an explanation for those who have difficulty connecting the dots.

Yes, I strongly believe in the core principles of nudism, and have not changed my mind that social nudism should be free of any overt sexual activity.

The general public has a far different perception of nudists. For many people, it's hard to believe that a group of people in mixed-gender company can participate in nude events without everyone starting an orgy. When Caliente resort began allowing swingers groups to use their facilities, AANR did the right thing by rescinding their membership, even though there was no actual sexual activity happening while the swingers were on the property (reportedly, anyway). It was all about the public perception. All the publicity over the Caliente situation merely affirmed the widespread belief that nudism and sex are one and the same.

When local communities crack down on strip joints, it's the nudity that comes under control by ordinances that prohibit exposure of specific parts of the body, and when they fail in controlling the nudity, authorities impose impossible zoning restrictions, or try and make the argument that strip joints cause an increase in crime. So far, that assertion has never been proven. It's far simpler to argue that a local convenience store, or bank, is a magnet for crime.

As for prostitution, I recently noted that San Francisco is poised to be the first major American city to possibly legalize the sex trade. I personally don't know if it's a good idea or not, but I find it hard to believe that a country which regulates and protects the porn industry, where people are paid to have sex on camera, can have a problem with someone paying for private sex in a hotel room.

These sexual issues speak to public perceptions. At the heart we are still a very Puritanical society, even though we are swamped with sexual imagery in magazines, on TV, and at the movies. It's odd that we willingly accept overt sexuality in the media, but reject the same behavior in our public and personal lives.

So when I link to a news item that has to do with a sexual matter, I do so merely to point out how the public, or the government, is dealing with the issue. One would hope that a more permissive society would benefit nudists, who by comparison with legal prostitution or strip clubs would seem rather tame.

It's very hard to pin down exactly where we are as a society when it comes to nudity. On one hand we have the great success of Haulover Beach and the recent victory of nudists at San Onofre beach, but on the other we have unnecessary anti-nudity ordinances enacted in Brattleboro and Huntington Beach, and a government which is attempting to wipe out any nudity at all from the airwaves.

Only by continuing to examine any and all stories which involve nudity in public can we begin to gauge society's direction on this issue. Some days I am encouraged, and some days I despair. Changing public perceptions doesn't happen overnight, and the freedom that nudists are seeking is not likely to happen anytime soon.

I like to use the swimsuit as an example of evolving attitudes. Prior to the 19th century, it was basically just men that swam in ponds and rivers, and they were nude. If women bathed outdoors, it was usually done in some sort of garment. Early swimsuits were ridiculous woolen coverings - both men and women were basically covered head to toe. It wasn't until the 1930s that men began to swim topless, and thirty years later topless swimming became acceptable for women in many European countries. Today in America, bathing suits leave little to the imagination. Going to topfree, or completely nude, is not a dramatic step for many beachgoers.

So when you look at the total picture, we seem to be moving in the right direction. I hope that from here on most news items that I find will be body positive, and that our society continues to become more and more progressive.

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