"You can freeze them!"

You all know what I'm talking about. This statement is the clever sales pitch of the most ingenious marketers on the planet. And you know who they are -- those little girls in green, who knock on our doors, selling their totally addictive, crack-like, thigh-expanding cookies. They're the daughters of our neighbors and co-workers, and they're the only door-to-door salespeople we actually look forward to seeing, year after year.

They're Girl Scouts.
And every year, I buy more boxes than a person who lives alone with a dog should ever buy. And I do this because the phrase "You can freeze them!" allows me to pretend, as I buy way too many boxes of cookies, that I will allow myself, -- oh, let's say, two cookies a day until they come around again next year.

Now, it's absolutely true that you can freeze them. I know. Because this year, I did just that. I froze them. And you know how that worked out? I'll bet you do...

I ate entire sleeves of cookies, night after night, just like I always do.. only this year, they were FROZEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!